Connection
By Rabbi Shneur Wilhelm
Children don't care how much you know until they know how much you care
A recent celebration highlighted the 60-year teaching career of a beloved community member. Former students of all ages -- some themselves grandparents -- hosted the event. What made their former teacher so beloved? Why did they still care so much about him these many years hence? The hosts responded unanimously: Their teacher cared.
How, indeed, do we show kids we care? Is it through taking them to and from baseball practice? Playing Monopoly with them? Studying with them? Making sure their lunch sacks are filled with their favorite midday meal?
All of these are important, yes, but I challenge you to take a step back and consider: How are they doing?
Just as wearing tefillin everyday is a mitzva commanded by the Torah to every individual regardless of his standing in Torah, whether deeply learned or simple, so too is it an absolute duty for every person to spend a half hour every day thinking about the Torah-education of children, and to do everything in his power - and beyond his power - to inspire children to follow the path along which they are being guided. (Hayom Yom, Tevet 22)
Oftentimes we get lost in the moment and caught up in the minutiae of, say, the afternoon’s schedule, or whether the fridge contains our child’s favorite treat. Perhaps focus instead on, What would be best to teach him for his emotional growth? What would be best to teach her for her academic growth? How can I show just how much I care about every aspect of my child (and not just being on time to a sports practice)?
We think of ourselves as your teammate in the raising of your children. At Maimonides, faculty, staff, and administration meet regularly to create a personalized program that brings out the best in each student, to meet each individual’s needs, to assess how each student is really doing. We do this to demonstrate how much we care for every student and to assess in an ongoing manner how we guide him or her along their individual path.
Perhaps your kids one day will be recognized for the care they demonstrate daily.